Friday, 30 December 2016


It is almost time to bid 2016 farewell and welcome 2017 with open arms, a bit of anxiety and a whole lot of hope. Word on the social media streets (twitter) is that 2016 was not the kindest to a lot of people.
While that is also kind of true in my case, I believe that everything happens for a reason (that's part of my coping mechanism) and rather than dwell on the negative, I look for the positive (there is almost always one you just need to look properly)
So, in the spirit of "silver linings" I will be sharing a few things I learnt this year.

I went through a very rough patch this year and the way I was able to forgive so easily (even without an apology) baffled a few of my friends. But, I  have learnt that sometimes forgiveness is not for the offender but for you to be able to complete the healing process and move on. Besides holding on to negative energy is never a good thing. 

You can and will make wonderful, meaningful friendships as an adult sometimes in the most random place (Internet) or in the most random way.
There are real genuine friendships to be made at any age you just need to open up and be receptive - with sense of course.
I also learnt that some of the best friendships are not always with people you have known the longest.

Self preservation is key.
'Self preservation' is a term I use which means putting yourself and your well being first. I used to try so hard not to be selfish but now I know that sometimes, I have to put myself first and walk away from a situation or person that is constantly draining my positive energy. It's not necessarily "giving up" on the person or situation it's basically self preservation... If you continue to give and give very soon there won't be anything left to give. 

It is OK to severe certain ties.
You know those "friendships" you hold on to simply because, you have known the person for X amount of years, or what ever reason... If that connection is not nourishing your soul, bringing joy, uplifting or encouraging you in anyway, cut off ties and run far. I have (had) a "friend" I have known since primary school and it hit me this year that this person only came to me when things were bad and they needed to moan but when things got better and they were "ballin" they were gone with the wind. So, I cut off ties with this person... Say NO to fair weather friends...

Love yourself.
Do you really love yourself? like truly love yourself? this year I fell more in love with my self and I am so happy about that. The importance of loving yourself and knowing your worth can not be over emphasized ...  

People will treat you how you let them.
There is always someone willing and able to "use" you if you let them. It is up to you to set boundaries that work for you. Also, what you allow is what will continue often times people will rock the boat or push boundaries to see what they can get away with. If you don't nip it in the bud asap it will become a habit.

There is no shame in bettering yourself.
People will try to rub mud on your "betterment" or remind you of your past but, do better anyway. I learnt to 'own' myself improvement with pride this year and it felt good. I was quick to retort "yes I used to do XYZ but I have made a conscious decision not to anymore for my own good..." at anyone who tried to belittle me.

Be open about your feelings.
This is sometimes hard but I have learnt even more this year that honesty really is the best policy. I feel a lot of issues could be avoided if people are more honest with what they want, expect, need, like, dislike or desire and everything in between.  

Show your loved ones more love.
Everyone loves a little appreciation and we often neglect those closest to us who probably deserve the most appreciation. I know what it is like to feel under appreciated so I do what I can to show appreciation to those I care about. 

Everyone has a different 'timeline'
We are often measuring our lives with standards set by society/parents/friends etc forgetting that Gods plan for everyone is different. So, late this year I decided that instead of obsessing over the time it was taking to arrive at my "destination" I would just enjoy the journey.
I think the picture below describes what I learnt perfectly....


What are some of your life lessons of 2016?

Happy New Year! in advance


1 comment:

  1. Girl! I agree with you are some of the most meaningful friendships not being the oldest and really everything else in this post!

    I'm trying to learn to be more open/honest, that's a tough one.



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